The app
See what the stars
have against you
Daily horoscope · Real astrology · Zero fluff
The stars don't guide you.
They judge you.
Why AstroRoast?
Built on real planetary positions calculated with Swiss Ephemeris. Every roast is cosmically accurate, just delivered without the crystal-ball nonsense.
Every roast is generated from actual planetary events of the day, calculated with Swiss Ephemeris, the same engine used by professional astrologers.
No endless scrolling. A single sharp reading per sign, refreshed daily. Plus a Cosmic Advice that's equal parts brutal and useful.
Every roast ships with a ready-to-share card. Send it to the Scorpio in your life and let the universe do the explaining.
Get a morning ping with the hook for your roast. The kind of notification you actually want to open.
The app
Get the app
Free to download. No astrologer required. Available on iOS and Android.